Discover what causes the pain of rejection and how to overcome the mindset of rejection in your life with God’s help.
At one point or another, it is possible that we have all struggled with rejection hurt. Rejection can come along when somebody does not accept us, we are not picked for something, or we fail at something. It may come with feeling unwanted, thrown away, or not good enough. Perhaps we believe we do not measure up to someone else’s expectations or have the desire to belong—but never really feel like we can fit in. Rejection can cause emotional pain that is similar to physical pain, and it affects our self-esteem.
In order to defeat rejection, we must first recognize that it is a spiritual problem. It is not just a feeling; it is actually an evil spirit trying to convince us to agree with its nature. A spirit of rejection wants to use people and situations to bring about a sense of rejection within us so that we think it is our own thoughts and negative emotions. Rejection wants us to believe that we are rejected by God and others and maybe even reject how we perceive ourselves. But in reality, this is not who we are.
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12 KJV
Dealing with the process of rejection
Rejection wants us to reject everything we have been searching for, for our entire lives. Its primary purpose is to make us push aside the things we want the most: love and acceptance. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy because we are set up so that we are unable to receive the very thing we long for. It leaves us constantly feeling like we have been left out of something.
When we experience rejection, we may also withdraw from others as a form of self-protection. We are tempted not to hang out with others or go to church. We may become angry because of the feelings of rejection. It brings with it a fear of being rejected even further and wants us to be overly concerned with what others think about us.
Rejection can also cause us to hear other people’s words through its filter. It tries to scramble what another person said or did to us. It can also tempt us to believe that we know what others are thinking about us—and they are never good thoughts.
We can’t make a human being our god
Dr. Henry W. Wright used to say that rejection is a form of unbelief; it is dangerous, and it is faithless. Rejection says we are not accepted by God, and this is contrary to His Word. A spirit of rejection is one of the strongest forms of unbelief and doubt because it makes God a liar. It says that we know better than God about something He created.
Rejection also says that to be accepted by God, we must be accepted by man first. It sets man as our god. It says that who we are (or who we are not) rests upon whether or not we are accepted by another human. When we make man our god—and whether or not somebody accepts us—as the basis of our righteousness and our acceptance by God, we are in idolatry: self-idolatry and idolatry of men.
We don’t have be cast down by social rejection in our life
One of rejection’s tactics is to tell us that nobody understands what we are going through. But we must realize that we are not alone! Isaiah 53 says that Jesus, Himself, was despised and rejected. We have a Savior who can understand all of our pain and grief because He has personally experienced everything we are going through right now.
He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Isaiah 53:3 KJV
Jesus understands us—how we struggle and our temptations. He was tempted in all points as we are now. So we know that in the midst of being tempted about anything, we can find ourselves able to resist at the same level that He did. We are not alone in our journey of overcoming rejection; our Savior is ever-present and able to help us.
Rejection hurt and negative self-talk
We must recognize that another one of rejection’s schemes is to make us believe that we cannot make a mistake. Because if we do, then we feel like we ARE a mistake. And if others see our faults, we are tempted to believe they will reject us even further. This brings on the fear of failure, combined with guilt and shame. It wants to make us relive mistakes of the past.
This is a form of perfectionism and performance, and it is not from God! The Bible says that a righteous man stumbles seven times. But what does he do? He gets back up, brushes himself off, and keeps going. We must put the past behind us and let go of our mistakes. We are not a failure! We all make mistakes from time to time. But we must learn from them, choose to get up and keep going. We need to take a hefty dose of God’s grace and mercy and receive it for ourselves.
For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief. Proverbs 24:16 KJV
How to deal with rejection and hurt feelings
At some point, we must stop listening to the lies of rejection and start believing God’s Word for what it says. It is our choice what we listen to and how we appropriate it. Ephesians 1:4 says: According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love. This is good news—God chose us in Him before the foundation of the world! He is our Father, and He created us to be in a relationship with Him and come before Him in love.
Additionally, Ephesians 1:6 says: …he has made us accepted in the beloved. This verse points out that we do not need to worry about whether or not God accepts us because He already does. And when we truly believe He accepts us, it does not really matter if anyone else does or not. We are accepted in the Beloved; our identity is set on knowing that we are sons and daughters of God. No matter our mistakes, no matter our history—He receives us because He has made a way for us to have redemption from those things through the blood of Jesus Christ. God says we are chosen and accepted, and we must believe this and come out of agreement with a spirit of unbelief.
According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. Ephesians 1:4-6 KJV
No more self-criticism
Another component to overcoming rejection is to accept ourselves. Listen to what is says in Psalm 139:
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee. Psalm 139: 14-18 KJV
Does our soul know right well—in other words, do we fully believe that we are fearfully and wonderfully made? Do we know that we are marvelous? And no matter how we were conceived, do we trust that we are loved and wanted by God? Verse 16 tells us that we do not have to be perfect because God still accepts us. And verse 17 combats any thoughts of “nobody is thinking about me, nobody cares.” His thoughts toward us are too numerous to count! It is not prideful to think that we are wonderfully made; we are simply agreeing with God. Who are we to argue with Him?
Hope for moving forward into freedom from Rejection
We need to understand that rejection is a spiritual issue and is a scheme of the enemy. Our battle is not with ourselves or with other humans. Our struggle is against Satan’s kingdom that includes evil spirits, but we can repent for agreeing with them and cast them out in Jesus’ name.
We can believe the Word of God, and know that we are not alone. We can stop rejecting love that is being freely offered to us, and know that even if we make a mistake, we are not rejected. We do not have to look to the world for acceptance—we can look to our Heavenly Father. Rejection does not need to rule over us anymore; we do not have to craft our identity around what others think about us. God has chosen and accepted us, and we can accept ourselves too.
Perhaps you see a pattern of rejection in your life. You can know that this is a plan from the enemy, and it is not you! You can overcome rejection and find the love and acceptance you desire. Spend time with God about it today; ask Him to help you recognize and uproot the lies of Rejection, and replace them with the revelation of His truth and love for your heart. God wants to heal rejection hurts at a deep level and bring you peace and freedom from the pain of rejection.
Solutions for physical pain and mental health issues
Would you like to learn more about what rejection is and the other Spiritual Roots of Disease®?
In addition to the Rejection teaching, we present over twenty other life-changing classes in the For My Life Retreat®. These teachings will lead you to the truth you need to find healing in God for your spirit, soul, and body.
The Be in Health Team invites you to join us on this life-changing journey of healing and restoration that we call the Overcomers’ Journey. We want to help you regain your life, overthrow the enemy’s works in the world, and be a successful overcomer.
If you struggle with rejection, maybe it’s time to take some time out for your life
The For My Life Retreat is a 5-day, intensive healing retreat. It is a safe place to take time out for your life to be renewed in your mind, spirit, and body by the truth from God’s Word.
There is also a For My Life Online Course available, where you can participate with us from the comfort of your own home.
The Be in Health Team
This is a sound bite from the For My Life Online Rejection teaching:
This article is part of the For My Life Sound Bite Series.
Check out these articles to learn more about the other teachings we offer and get more insights into spiritual discernment, the power of God’s love, and how He can heal you and help you become an overcomer!
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Separation – Learn how to recognize the enemy’s strategy to divide and destroy relationships and get smarter than him. You can recognize and hate the sin but still love the person just like God does for us.
Pathways of Thought – How can a spiritual kingdom influence our thoughts? Discover the pathway of thought from the spiritual through thoughts, feelings, and emotions to its effect on our physical health.
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Bitterness – Learn the seven steps of bitterness, including unforgiveness, anger, violence, and murder. With these insights, you will be able to defeat this stronghold and operate in God’s forgiveness and peace.
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Occultism – Occultism may have slipped into your everyday life without you knowing it. Learn what is Occultism and how to be free from it.
Unloving – Recognize if you are not giving and receiving love to God, yourself, and others. And learn how to walk in love as God intended.
Addictions – Learn what the Bible says about overcoming addictions. God wants to help us be free, and receive our comfort and identity from Him.