Biblical Order of the Family: Is Father God the Head of Your Home?
For everything that God ordains, the enemy will try to make a counterfeit. His goal is to prevent us from receiving the full benefit or blessing of following Father God’s will. The ultimate conclusion is that we may become disillusioned, and our faith may falter or even be overthrown. One specific area that has been tragically affected by the effects of misappropriation of Father God’s will is the family unit. The enemy has warped the biblical order of the family to cause more harm than good in many cases. Does this mean that God was wrong in establishing the order of the home the way He did? No.
Perhaps we’ve misunderstood and misappropriated His instructions according to our own understanding rather than being led by the Holy Spirit in grace and love. Today I want to reconnect the home with the heart of Father God so that it can once again thrive as a safe, healthy environment.
5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. 7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. Proverbs 3:5-7 KJV
The family unit has been breaking down for generations both in the world and in the church. They may have fundamentally applied the rules, but the heart behind the application has been missing. God designed the home to be a place where its members can learn, grow, and thrive together in unity. The only way to experience the wholeness of His plan for the home is to seek His heart and allow Him to grow us up in His will.
1 Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh [but] in vain. Psalm 127:1 KJV
God-ly order in the home starts with ‘God’
Let’s look at the verse that is most commonly used to implement godly order in the home:
3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman [is] the man; and the head of Christ [is] God. 1 Corinthians 11:3 KJV
Do you believe that the man is meant to be the head of the home? According to this scripture, the head of the home is first God the Father, then Christ who is God the Word, and then the man is the head of the woman as they are both led by the Holy Spirit. By the time you get to a human in this equation, you are already three deep!
If God the Father and God the Word are missing from this equation, what do you get? You may end up with idolatry of man. The man takes on a burden that He was not designed to carry on his own.
The male’s role in the household, as a husband and a father, is not a right but a responsibility. There is sacrifice involved; he is called to serve His family as Christ served the church. Yet if he is disconnected from Christ and Father God, how can he fulfill his calling? How can he know God’s vision and purpose for his family?
How do we establish the head of the household according to the Bible?
1 Corinthians 11:3 takes that burden off the man and puts it on the shoulders of God the Father through God the Word. Jesus Christ said that no man could come to the Father (that is Father God) except through Him. What does that mean, and why is it significant to godly order in the home?
6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. John 14:6 KJV
We need to understand who Jesus is; He’s the way, the truth, and the life, AKA the living Word of God.
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. John 1:1 KJV
How can you know the will of the Father if you don’t know the Word?
We need to know what the Word says to know the will of the Father. We do this by reading our Bibles and seeking to know His heart. The living Word, Jesus Christ, came to the world to bridge the gap between our Heavenly Father and us by paying the ultimate sacrifice to cleanse us from our sins. Jesus also instructed us to ask the Father in His name:
23 And in that day ye shall ask me nothing. Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, he will give [it] you. John 16:23 KJV
Jesus came to show us the Father (Father God), and the earthly father is intended to represent God the Father to His family just like Jesus did to the church. He does this through instruction and personal application of the Word of God. There is no way for the man to know the Heavenly Father’s heart if he isn’t seeking to know Him through the Word and a personal relationship.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. Ephesians 5:25-26 KJV
The home is designed to be a safe place
God designed the home to be a safe place for its members to grow up together in their roles, identities, and family relationships. There should be an allowance for making mistakes, learning from them, growing, and even experimenting and trying new things.
No one enters marriage or parenthood fully prepared for their role. Everyone has to grow up in it. As believers, we have the added benefit of the God of the universe, who knows everything leading us and teaching us by His Holy Spirit. We don’t just have to get through life; we can experience the fullness of joy in the blessings that He has prepared for those that serve Him.
9 But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. 1 Corinthians 2:9 KJV
The biblical order of the family unit is not about human performance
God does not expect perfect performance; He expects hearts that are perfect towards Him to seek Him and draw closer to Him through the ups and downs of life and to repent when sin issues come to light.
If a home is not going to be a place of conflict and battle, the man must first stand before his family in humility with the willingness to repent when he is convicted of the Holy Spirit. God does not expect perfection but when the man does fail of the grace of God, is he willing to get on his knees and repent to his wife and children? By doing this, he is not diminishing his authority in the home; rather, he is establishing that the authority in the home is truly Father God’s.
The challenge for the wife is to receive her husband in his vulnerability with grace and without accusation. She is also responsible for repenting to Father God, her husband, and children when she falls into sin. By doing this, she also helps establish Father God’s authority in the home.
A greater benefit to a healthy family unit
Only with God’s help can a family grow to prosper in how He designed it to in joy and peace. I believe that as God restores the family unit, He will raise its members to be a blessing and function in their community and their nation to continue the forward motion of healing and restoration. Perhaps the welfare of a nation is not so much dependent on “vast social change” but more on the family unit’s basic spiritual health and welfare.
3 Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward. 4 As arrows [are] in the hand of a mighty man; so [are] children of the youth. 5 Happy [is] the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. Psalm 127:3-5 KJV
May you and your family be richly blessed,
Here are some more articles related to this topic:
How to Be Restored to the Father’s Love – By Pastor Adrienne Shales
Building a Foundation for Future Generations – By Scott Iwahashi
Peace vs. Strife – What Does the Bible Say About Strife? – By Scott Iwahashi